Car Karma
A short consciousness expanding training in 1975 transformed me from humble secretary to wonder woman. Despite newfound personal power, I created a karmic nightmare for which only the universe could even the score. Was my consciousness expanded or my brain washed? Whatever that training was, I graduated knowing I could walk on water.
I quit a safe clerical job and with zero sales experience landed a business to business outside sales position. Success came quickly as my confidence was beyond rational. I needed a shiny new vehicle match the glitter of my ego. Negotiations progressed nicely until the dealer called for two things - color choice and my last W2 form. Color the car copper. Color me a back peddling lunatic. My bursting confidence led me to lie about my income. How could I unravel my lie?
Intending to cry on his shoulder, I ran straight to a CPA friend who handed me a blank W2 form. His instructions were to fill out the form with “whatever” and create a convincing W2 form. Surely this must be illegal. In a panic, even shaking, I prepared the bogus document, convincing myself, “It’s a victimless crime. Who would it hurt?” In today’s paperless world it couldn’t happen. But in 1975 it could. So I did it. And it worked like a charm.
My new car was fabulous, albeit cursed. Two weeks into the drama my karma came after me. With every miserable incident I assured myself my agonies were karmic payback.
First, I was stranded on the freeway, late at night, alone in the dark in a brand new dead car. A few weeks after that came the same scenario even farther from home. Hollywood Porsche/Audi would do the repairs. They handed me a Porsche for a loaner. Ordinarily that would have been divine good fortune, had the transmission in the Porsche not died, again leaving me stranded, alone and in the dark.
The man assigned to repair a cylinder to complete the repairs dropped dead, delaying completion. While awaiting repair in Hollywood, the cursed karma car was left on a lift overnight. The lift slipped and the car slowly lowered onto a new Porsche, damaging that car. Slipping off the first Porsche, it somehow lurched onto another Porsche leaving more damage.
Finally, on the road again – what next? Robbery! A thief forced the trunk open, absconding with $4,000 worth of the equipment I was supposed to sell.
Leaving a July 4th fireworks display I sat full stop at an intersection with my entire family (mother, father and both kids). We were struck by an unmarked police car that had been in hot pursuit of some bad guy. It was a three car collision as we just sat.
Just after warranty expiration, the fuel system malfunctioned. The mechanic said I might blow up if I drove the car. Not interest in blowing up and with no money for repairs, I gave up. I purchased another, less glamorous car for which fictitious documentation was not needed.
I hired an attorney. Was it a lemon? I was the only one who knew the problem was my own karma and I wasn’t telling. The attorney advised I stop payments. I tucked the troubled car into my carport. Within a few weeks I came home to find it disappeared. Who would steal such a nightmare? But no - it was simply repossessed. For sure it was “possessed” and now it has been repossessed, granting me a huge black mark on my credit. How could all this be anything but my own karmic payback?
I’d learned my lesson – “Never do anything unethical ever again because you will be very sorry - exposed or not!”
Finally came a welcome blessing. Repo man had gone to my office, talked with my neighbors in adjacent businesses and made derogatory remarks about me to people who thought highly of me. With the blessing of his indiscretion, the drama ended quickly. Neighbors shared his insults which I shared with my attorney. The attorney sued the lease holder (Wells Fargo) for defamation of character and slander in a $500,000 personal injury suit. Wells Fargo soon sent a letter cancelling the contract which forgave any credit issue and released indebtedness. And that was that.
I paid the attorney $175 and we forgot the half million in damages. I’ve always felt the painless outcome was more good fortune than I deserved. On the other hand, hadn’t I fully suffered karmic torture? How much punishment is enough?
WORK COUNT - 750
I quit a safe clerical job and with zero sales experience landed a business to business outside sales position. Success came quickly as my confidence was beyond rational. I needed a shiny new vehicle match the glitter of my ego. Negotiations progressed nicely until the dealer called for two things - color choice and my last W2 form. Color the car copper. Color me a back peddling lunatic. My bursting confidence led me to lie about my income. How could I unravel my lie?
Intending to cry on his shoulder, I ran straight to a CPA friend who handed me a blank W2 form. His instructions were to fill out the form with “whatever” and create a convincing W2 form. Surely this must be illegal. In a panic, even shaking, I prepared the bogus document, convincing myself, “It’s a victimless crime. Who would it hurt?” In today’s paperless world it couldn’t happen. But in 1975 it could. So I did it. And it worked like a charm.
My new car was fabulous, albeit cursed. Two weeks into the drama my karma came after me. With every miserable incident I assured myself my agonies were karmic payback.
First, I was stranded on the freeway, late at night, alone in the dark in a brand new dead car. A few weeks after that came the same scenario even farther from home. Hollywood Porsche/Audi would do the repairs. They handed me a Porsche for a loaner. Ordinarily that would have been divine good fortune, had the transmission in the Porsche not died, again leaving me stranded, alone and in the dark.
The man assigned to repair a cylinder to complete the repairs dropped dead, delaying completion. While awaiting repair in Hollywood, the cursed karma car was left on a lift overnight. The lift slipped and the car slowly lowered onto a new Porsche, damaging that car. Slipping off the first Porsche, it somehow lurched onto another Porsche leaving more damage.
Finally, on the road again – what next? Robbery! A thief forced the trunk open, absconding with $4,000 worth of the equipment I was supposed to sell.
Leaving a July 4th fireworks display I sat full stop at an intersection with my entire family (mother, father and both kids). We were struck by an unmarked police car that had been in hot pursuit of some bad guy. It was a three car collision as we just sat.
Just after warranty expiration, the fuel system malfunctioned. The mechanic said I might blow up if I drove the car. Not interest in blowing up and with no money for repairs, I gave up. I purchased another, less glamorous car for which fictitious documentation was not needed.
I hired an attorney. Was it a lemon? I was the only one who knew the problem was my own karma and I wasn’t telling. The attorney advised I stop payments. I tucked the troubled car into my carport. Within a few weeks I came home to find it disappeared. Who would steal such a nightmare? But no - it was simply repossessed. For sure it was “possessed” and now it has been repossessed, granting me a huge black mark on my credit. How could all this be anything but my own karmic payback?
I’d learned my lesson – “Never do anything unethical ever again because you will be very sorry - exposed or not!”
Finally came a welcome blessing. Repo man had gone to my office, talked with my neighbors in adjacent businesses and made derogatory remarks about me to people who thought highly of me. With the blessing of his indiscretion, the drama ended quickly. Neighbors shared his insults which I shared with my attorney. The attorney sued the lease holder (Wells Fargo) for defamation of character and slander in a $500,000 personal injury suit. Wells Fargo soon sent a letter cancelling the contract which forgave any credit issue and released indebtedness. And that was that.
I paid the attorney $175 and we forgot the half million in damages. I’ve always felt the painless outcome was more good fortune than I deserved. On the other hand, hadn’t I fully suffered karmic torture? How much punishment is enough?
WORK COUNT - 750